A situation that gets completely botched up (typically unexpectedly) and is extremely difficult to get rid of or to get away from, similar to a deal with a lot of hair on it. It can also describe something you end up with that you didn’t ask for and don’t want, but can’t get rid of.

The disgusting term that started my word quest. When I first heard “green weenie,” I realized there was another language being spoken in the business world with mysterious words and acronyms, some funny ha-ha, some funny weird, some just wacky, some with hidden meanings and some downright offensive. Imagine what a weenie must look like

In other words, how big is the financial deficit and what plan can we devise to erase it? The size of “the hole” is similar to the burn rate, but not exactly the same thing. The burn rate can be either a current or projected cash depletion rate. The size of “the hole” is an

The envelope you are handed that contains bad news, perhaps the worst news you will ever get. It also refers to a sealed envelope that someone would open if a disaster occurred. When I sold my company to Ford Motor Company, I handed two train wreck envelopes to the manager, Bill Stevens, as I was

A negative reference to a report, indicating disbelief or a lack of confidence in the report’s facts, or just general disrespect for the report or its author. It’s called the soft paper report because it needs to be written on soft paper, so that it will have another use, ahem, like in the toilet. Use:

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can’t make something ugly look any better than it is. Usually the term refers to dressing up an old plan or product. Even if you put lipstick on a pig, it is still a pig and everyone knows it. This one has to rank in my top

A negative term used to describe a business that isn’t doing well and is starting to crumble, much like a home that is being eaten by termites will eventually fall down.

This one is my second favorite term, after green weenie. Herding cats is a tough chore. In business, it translates as managing a group of people that are hard to control or direct. Imagine trying to keep dozens of cats all headed in the same direction focused on the same results. I first heard it

I can run faster than my wife, but that doesn’t mean I am fast – This one cracks me up. It’s literally true, but in business it means that just because one division or department is doing better than a similar division or department doesn’t mean it’s really doing well if both of them are

Used in regards to looking for investors or partners. You would always rather have them come to you hungry than chase them around with the bread. Be ready for investors when they come to you showing interest, don’t go after them trying to sell. Use: “Brian advised, rather than trying to go to every potential